I cannot improve myself if I cannot observe myself

Growth comes from mistakes. You act, you make mistakes, you observe the mistakes, you analyze them, you improve next time you act. This is the growth cycle. It directly or indirectly applies on all domains of life and evolution.

A key part of this cycle is to observe. Most people don’t grow because they don’t analyze or possibly don’t try to improve upon them the next time they act. I myself, try my best to analyze and improve to make sure I make a positive impact over others. But recently I realized one thing. The only thing I wasn’t able to improve over the years were characteristics which I acted, but got no feedback upon. How I walk, how I talk, how I react etc. Overall in broad my personality you can say. But why? and how do I know now?

These are the things only your family or close friends will tell you, and that too once they become noticeable. These are facts that you don’t want to accept yourself because you cannot believe them. You cannot believe because you cannot see, hear or feel them yourself. It’s like your name, it’s yours but used by everyone else. Same way your personality is yours, but is always judged by others.

Now that why and how are known let’s discuss the next steps. What can one do about it? Actually a lot

Steps you can take care of to analyze or improve your personality :-

• Try to be clear and frank with close people. Ask them out directly. How easily they tell you depends upon your behavior with them and other factors but this is the fastest way to get accurate information
• Observe people’s reactions after your actions
• Take complaints or insults constructively and seriously
• Think before you speak. This is obvious but often ignored and taken for granted
• Be aware of your posture, your actions and things you do subconsciously. Bring them to your consciousness.

Not all of these will apply to everyone, and neither do I follow all these. But these were somethings I could come up with which might help people improve themselves in this reality of a judging society