It’s the last few days of staying in the college. Not exactly but yeah the next sem is mostly online, all my friends are going for 6-month intern (oracle does not do 6 month for our college) and there is nothing to do alone in college (we’ll see). These days the thought process I’m going through is reminds me of my last few days in school. But it’s a little different this time. Till now I was on a track. A track laid down by the Indian Education system which I followed without any complaints. But the track I want to follow ends here. I’m not interested in higher education (especially in Indian Colleges) considering my already received offer and future plans. So this leaves me with no fixed path ahead. I’ll be free of something I did not want to be free from.
Back to what I was thinking now. There are still a few days left here. Being on social media I am also obviously the victim of all it’s mental health issues. Don’t worry, nothing serious. What I’m talking about is the fear of nostalgia today. The fear of me regretting what I’m doing right now in the future when comparing to others. Yes I know the statement has the flaws mentioned in itself but it’s a fact and once it’s there in my brain, there is no shift+delete for thoughts. People on social media constantly (indirectly) reminding me of the fun I should have in college. Reminding me that whatever fun I’m having is not enough and that there is more stuff I should be doing. But it’s fine. I know I won’t regret. I never really do. But still the thought is there.
At the same time I wonder where these thoughts originate from. I’m not envious of other peoples happiness. If you are my friend you’d know that the only thing I aim for when I’m with you is for you to be happy. But then why this fear? Is it because I’m overly cautious about my actions which I fear can change the future significantly? Probably. But I’m still not completely sure.
Talking about actions changing future, just yesterday I was watching the latest video by Destin on SmarterEveryDay where he talks about this. In the middle of his talkie talk, he gives a really awesome example about your actions and the future. He quotes -
“Here’s something to think about. You guys like movies? Back to the future. … One of the cool things about those time travel movies is they’ll go back in time and they’re like, Oh, man, I can’t change things because of how crazily I will influence the timeline of the future. If I move this bottle and …, I might not even be born. These little changes have monumental impacts.
Why do we not realize that we have that much control over the future now? Right now, you have that much control over the future as you’re sitting there. why don’t we have that level of gravitas to what we think about now?”
This is a good food for thought and I suggest you to also think about this for some time. It’s only some times that you get to realize that you are the one on the driving seat, the pilot, the one in control. At the same time keeping in mind that you are a pilot for all the other passengers in flight, you have people seated on the back seat relying on you, who care about you. Drive like you have to and want to.